How to Get Comfortable with Prayer & Regain Peace
Days and especially nights get long and oftentimes pretty lonely. and the absolute hardest part is figuring out just what to do to get through it all. I’ve been there. A lot of times, and I, for one, did not know how to take it. I’d think in those moments, “How am I going to make it through this? What on earth should I do?
Before I would just lay around and hope that I could distract myself enough to pass the time in hopes of getting to the next day. Hopefully a better day. In those moments I wished I had someone who understood what I was feeling. Someone who could give the advice and uplifting I needed. Yet, everyone around me fell short. It wasn’t until I really opened my heart to a relationship with God that I learned He was the one whom I could seek advice from the whole time, which is what I’m sharing with you here!
In this letter, I’m sharing the 3 secrets I learned while getting more comfortable with prayer that allowed me to regain some peace. I’ll be covering:
The need for an open heart
The importance of consistently absorbing God-related content
How comfort and trust ensures the most progress
So if you’re tired of feeling restless day and night, and you have no idea what could possibly work, then you’re in the right place! All you need is a willingness to give this process let’s just say 30-days, and you will begin to see change for the better! Now, on to the good stuff.
STORY TIME
Dear Somebody,
I’ve always known who God is. I came from a religious family. Attended church pretty regularly, and received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior at 15. But, you know how you can be around something all your life and it does not mean much to you? Yeah, that was pretty much me. I respected God, of course. However, that didn’t necessarily mean I was working on building an intimate relationship with him.
I was already in a pretty bad place. My daddy had just died. I had to finish my final year of college knowing that in the end, he would not be there to witness it, and what do you know, a global pandemic has taken over everything, meaning nobody around me was providing true comfort that I needed. Not because they didn’t want to, but because they simply had their own problems going on, and I’m sure did not know how to deal with mine. So, you could say I was full of grief, exhausted, and above all just lonely.
I was desperate to feel good again, but if it’s one thing we know about desperation it’s that it almost never always results in getting what you are yearning for, and if it does, look out because it may be coming at a great cost. I would be able to maintain my resolve for a few weeks tops, and then I’d land right back in a pile of grief and loneliness, drowning my pain in yet another massive binge of any and all kinds of distractions.
Of course there are tons and tons of things out in the world about how to feel better and overcome whatever “thing” it is that you’re going through, and I’d be fibbing big time if I said I didn’t dabble in all the different “options”. But, that’s for another letter for a different day. It’s just way too much to get into and a whole story on its own.
Point of all that was. None of that worked. Well, it worked temporarily. But never actually solved anything. So, I was back to square one, and tbh, I don’t know really how it happened, but somehow, one random day, I just ended up sitting down and decided I’m going to open the Bible up today.
From that day on, I continued to “open the Bible up today”. I started at Genesis 1:1 and kept going from there. Somewhere along the way, I barely realized that I was doing it, I started to pray, and when that happened, things started making sense to me. My life started transforming before my eyes for the better. Btw, I currently sit at Obadiah in the Bible. Obadiah 1 to be exact ,and pushing forward haha.
I contribute feeling much better a lot to having a stronger prayer life. And I know you’re saying it’s not that simple.You’re right. It’s not. I didn’t just pray once and everything became better. It has become a daily practice. I pray everyday. I feel stronger everyday I do, and when I don't something just doesn't sit right with my inside. So if you’re interested, here’s exactly what I learned, and how to implement it for yourself. This is exactly how to stick to actually getting comfortable with prayer and finally regaining peace in the process.
Secret #1: The need for an open heart
“But the moment one turns to the Lord with an open heart, the veil is lifted and they see.” -2 Corinthians 3:16, TPT
Creating an open heart sounds simple. Yet, it becomes a lot more complex as you come face to face with things that maybe you don’t want to have an open heart to, or encounter things you just can’t seem to get over. This is a thing involving the heart called a defense mechanism. Defense mechanisms have been described as psychological strategies or behaviors that people may use to cope with difficult feelings, thoughts, or situations.
To put it very plainly into perspective for this situation: Closed off heart = less freaking out
I’ve been there. So, I know it makes sense to protect the heart, for it is the lifeline of a person. Nobody has time to be walking around taking attacks on the heart, just letting any and everything touch it. That’s why God says to “guard your heart”, am I right?
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23, NIV
Because, He understands the need to be selective about what you let into your heart. However, I don’t believe He intended to scare people into building a barricade, having it completely closed off to anything that makes it flutter. Dear somebody, that will keep you from ever doing a thing in life because it takes an open heart to do a lot of things. To learn to drive, to befriend someone, to get in a relationship with someone, to go after a job, to pray (see what I did there). The list goes on and on and on. Plus God talks about the heart in scripture so much. Which means, if your heart is not right, it will be a battle to take in His grace.
Secret #2: The importance of consistently absorbing God-related content
“Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” Colossians 3:2, ESV
This was key for me. I started coming up higher in terms of the things that I spent my time absorbing. I didn’t want to be sad all the time, so I stirred clear of things that would make me sad, and I replaced it intentionally with things that were overly positive. For example, every morning when I wake up, the first thing I always try to think or say out loud is “Thank you Lord for waking me up this morning and allowing me to see another beautiful day.” It sounds cheesy, but it makes me feel better knowing that I’ve intentionally tried to start my day off on a positive note. And, I like to think God appreciates being the first thing on my mind each morning haha.
I also got pretty intentional about what I would watch during the day. I made sure to at least watch some kind of prayer or motivational video, whether it be in the morning or when going to bed at night. Sometimes both depending on what happened during the day. From there I started to put even more intention behind what I was consuming. Books, music, articles, etc. I became just a little more conscientious about them. And let me be real with you, I’ve always been an “R&B chick”, hello Mr. Ty Dolla $ign, and never could really get into gospel or anything like that. That’s how I know God’s grace is working on me. I gravitate towards that kind of music now. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy all of my R&B songs, but I also feel just as good, maybe even better, when I listen to “My Portion” by Jekayln Carr.
And, the amazing thing that happened was, I became more comfortable with speaking praises to God. They literally started to roll off of my tongue. I know it had to be because I was consuming so much more God-related things. All of it teaches me how to speak out to God and that’s what you have to do in prayer, be willing to speak out to God. Once I started getting better at talking to God, the peace that fell upon me was strong. When you get a little more intentional about hanging out with God, over time you naturally become closer to him. As you become closer, it becomes easier to speak to him. You just gotta set up that first hangout session.
Secret #3: Comfort and trust ensures the most progress
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6, NLT
It's hard to know if trust in God comes from being comfortable with Him, or if being comfortable with God comes from trusting in Him. Either way, both are essential when it comes to the peace that you can gain by getting more comfortable with speaking to God. Without trust in God or comfort in Him, you won’t be able to truly feel any peace.
When I started to put my trust in God, everything started to feel okay. It was hard obviously because my pride and ego wanted me to hold on to every ounce of control that I could. I’d be massively fibbing if I said I don’t struggle still at times to hand things over to God, but the more I do, the more I feel at peace. Like a huge weight has been lifted off of me. I’m not saying that my problems go away in an instant when I decide to trust God. They don’t. Having trust in the Lord to work things out just brings me joy and comfort in the midst of difficult situations.
When it comes to the impact it has on a person’s ability to pray, trusting in God increases your confidence in approaching Him. It means you believe in Him. You believe in His dominion authority. You believe in His ability to work all things out for your good. That’s why you seek Him and his counsel. And you know what this belief in Him does, it keeps you in perfect peace.
I can only speak for myself, but peace is something I feel should be treasured. As I get older and my life becomes more dynamic, I’m realizing just how hard it can be to sit with a sense of peace. If I’m told that something can help me be more at peace, I’m going to give it at least a try. This works. Trusting in the Lord works for getting comfortable with prayer and it works for gaining peace. That’s not the debate. The true debate boils down to how much it truly matters to you to live a more peaceful life.
You might think this is over simplified, and it could be. I promise you, you don’t need a ton of material things to get started. A lot of it is internal preparation. All it takes is a little effort each day to think about God and the transformations really do start happening. But, you have to believe it can happen for you, and you have to be strong and not so quick to give up.
My question is, would you rather have little by little change to your life for the better or no change at all? I know my own personal desire, but the choice is really up to you. God will receive you with open arms, but he is not a forceful God. He will not make you seek Him.
All the promises of God can be and ARE for you, but you have to seek Him. You have to be diligent about building your relationship with God. You cannot give up. You cannot quit.
To wrap this up,
It’s a process. Everything will start changing little by little by little. The important thing to do is learn how to speak to God (aka pray). The peace will come naturally. The biggest is being patient and waiting for the Lord to work all the kinks out. The key is to not give up just because you think it’s not working.
If you’re ready to accept God and finally receive the goodness that a real relationship with Him has to offer, I urge you to give prayer a try, no matter how awkward you may feel doing it. And remember, God loves you. I love you.
Sincerely,
Aniya Hope
